Rogue Ghosts
by mistyblue814
Summary: This is a fic where I place the Ghost Crew in with the Rogue One plot line. Ezra and Sabine become part of the members of Rogue One. I was inspired by a post from a-greatbig-bottleof-fuck after seeing it from swrrequests (Tumblr). MAJOR SPOILERS FOR ROGUE ONE MOVIE! DO NOT READ IF YOU DO NOT WISH TO SEE SPOILERS!
1. Chapter 1

" _Rebellions are built on hope_." Jyn told the crowd, trying desperately to make them agree with her.

The Ghost Crew nodded, Ezra staring intently at everyone who soon came to disagree…or not necessarily disagree but still not follow. Ezra was getting annoyed sitting among the crowd of rebels, listening to them argue on something that they couldn't believe they were arguing about. Ezra had heard what the weapon could be and he couldn't understand how so many leaders were just…bowing to the Empire. He couldn't understand. A weapon like this should make them fight harder!

He couldn't hold in his thoughts anymore. They just burst out as he took a step forward.

"So you're giving up?" Ezra called.

"Ezra!" Hera hissed, moving to catch his arm to stop him but the teen was already walking through a path of rebels as they moved to make a parting for him. Ezra was already out of her reach and was stepping forward to be in front of the crowd. He didn't care that he was speaking out of turn. If they were going to bow to the Empire then they should hear the truth that everyone was thinking about it.

"Not, giving up…"

Ezra shook his head, standing beside Jyn. He had never talked to her before and had only heard about her and her father and what had happened in the course of these past couple of days from Hera, but Ezra already knew that he liked her. He liked anyone who had enough faith and hope to go against the Empire, especially if they weren't completely willing before. It was a test of faith and bravery and she passed. Especially since leaders of the rebellion were not.

"Yes you are!" Ezra told them, looking to every face, "this should make us fight more!"

There was agreeing from around the room. Ezra looked at the Council again.

"You are letting _all_ of this…everything that has been worked on for twenty years just die because of this weapon. We should fight it! Just as we always have!" Ezra told them, "my parents _died_ for this cause. My friends _died_ for this cause. Everyone here has lost someone close to them for this rebellion! They knew what could happen but they decided to die because if they were going to die it was going to be _for_ something! Giving in and turning the table means that all of those people, the thousands who lost their lives for the rebellion and the innocents who lost their lives for the Empire have died for nothing!"

There was more agreeing behind him, more people nodding. The leaders all looked at him, some with anger, some with disappointment, and some with admiration.

"We've never let fear stop us before!" Ezra said.

"We've never seen this weapon before!"

"Which is why we should stop it! Giving up means giving into its power! If we give in, don't get these plans, and don't try to stop it then we are giving in to whatever power it has and whatever it will do. We will turn our backs on not just those who have died for the rebellion already but for those who will die in its destruction!"

The agreements got louder.

Ezra told them, looking them hard in the eye, "not standing up doesn't mean giving up, it means conforming to what is around you! To conforming to the Empire and everything it has done and every horrible thing it will do next. This rebellion was built on refusing to abide by this, by refusing to conform and to agree with what was going on. This rebellion was built on fighting for a better future, to stop the Empire. And when something different, horrible and needs to be stopped comes up you're asking all of us to give in for fear of what could happen?"

"It will start a war on the rebellion!"

"It's always been a war!" Ezra almost yelled. There was agreeing amongst the crowd again.

Ezra looked between all of the council members again.

"This weapon may be the worse thing we've ever seen, but that's why it needs to be stopped. The rest of not stopping this weapon will be far worse then trying to stop it." Ezra told them. "Weapons like this, leaders like that, are the whole reason this rebellion was created. How could you ask us to stand down when this thing is exactly what we've fought to destroy for twenty years?"

There was agreeing amongst the crowd again. Some of the council members nodded as well. Mothma stared at him, her lips pressed thin. Ezra could sense the mixed emotions among the Council as they stared at either him or Mothma. Finally, the Chandrila Senator told him, "I'm sorry, Jyn. But the Council has made their decision."

Ezra shook his head and walked away as Jyn stood still, moving through the crowd that parted for him. Hera sighed and walked forward. Kanan placed a hand on her upper arm.

"I should go talk to him." Kanan told her.

"We both should." Hera answered and the two Spectors soon made their way through the crowd as well.

~.~

Ezra walked outside, moving through small patches of rebels that were outside with the droids that were moving about the fighters and ships. He heard footsteps coming after him and he didn't need to turn around or use the force to see who it was.

"Ezra, wait!" Kanan called to him.

Although he didn't particularly want to, Ezra stopped, his back still to them. He saw Hera and Kanan move to stand in front of them, both faces full of exasperation. Hera didn't particularly know what to tell him.

"I'm not sorry." Ezra told them.

"We're not asking you to be," Hera told him, "but Ezra you can't just….speak out like that."

"Why not? I'm not afraid to speak my voice. They're almost as bad as the Empire!" Ezra argued.

"Ezra!" Kanan told him, "you know that's not true."

"They're letting the Empire get away with this when we could stop the weapon before it truly starts its damage!" Ezra insisted.

"Ezra, what you did in there wasn't respectful. You can't just talk like that in front of the Council." Karan insisted.

"I don't care about being respectful to cowards. Because of them this weapon…" Ezra's voice trailed off. He shook his head angrily, "you disappointed?"

"No," Hera told him. "I agree with you Ezra, but the Council voted. And it's out of our hands as much as I don't like it."

"I never thought you would just sit down and let something like this happen." Ezra told them.

Hera sighed.

"Ezra, we can find another way, but…" Hera sighed. She didn't exactly know what to tell Ezra. She agreed with him and she wanted to get the plans to this weapon before it could really do some damage, but he was too outspoken about it….she thinks…She was in the fine line of trying to be mad but also being impressed.

"Look just…leave me alone. I don't feel like being around here too much longer. I need to meditate." Ezra told her.

That was a first. Karan usually had to tell Ezra to meditate and dictate how long it was. If Ezra was doing it on his own, then he needed it. Hera sighed and nodded, "alright. We'll find you when we know more about what's going to happen. Something may change."

"Maybe." Ezra answered before turning his back to them and walking off without taking a look back.

~.~

Ezra was sitting in the shade, a bit away from all the excitement, but not too far away that he couldn't hear it. He didn't know how long he was sitting here, trying to find some peace, trying to follow Kanan's teachings about pushing his feelings into the Force to connect to it. To make peace. It wasn't working as well as he would like. He was so used to Kanan meditating beside him that it didn't completely feel right to not do it.

He didn't know how long it was until he heard some footsteps come up to him. It was a Force signature he didn't really know. He recognized it, as one among the masses back in that crowd.

The other person stood there, not too sure about what to do. So, Ezra prompted him.

"Can I help you, Cassian?" Ezra asked him, not opening his eyes.

"You're a hard person to find sometimes. I was looking for you for a while. We all heard you back with the Council. We…we're going to do something about this, whether they want us to or not. A group of us are going to Scarif." Cassian answered.

Now, Ezra opened his eyes. He stared up at the Captain and asked, "how many?"

"A small group." Cassian answered, "less than twenty in total."

"And you need a Jedi." Ezra stated.

"We need rebels that are more than ready to fight for this despite being in a small group." Cassian answered, "the fact that you're a Jedi is a happy plus to our ranks."

Ezra grinned before he nodded.

"Let me get some things. I think I already know what ship you're going to use." Ezra told him. Cassian smiled as well.

~.~

"He's been gone a while." Sabine commented as she and the others sat in a cafeteria-like room. It was the place where most of the food was kept and on good days there was hot foods, sometimes the rebels would just get quick food rations. This was one of those times, but Sabine was starving and ate it either way.

"He needs some time, Sabine." Kanan told her, almost reading her mind.

Sabine shrugged, staring down at the now empty can of soup and then moving it around with her spoon.

"I just don't like him being alone," Sabine answered him, "he was pretty upset."

"We all are, Sabine." Zeb answered, finishing his second and last can.

Sabine shrugged.

"Yeah but he was more upset. You hard him in that auditorium." Sabine insisted, "I just don't think he should be alone for too long. You know how he gets ideas in his head."

"I know how you both get insane ideas in your heads when you have your eye set on something." Kanan said in a slightly joking tone.

Sabine rolled her eyes before pushing back her chair.

"Maybe he needs someone to talk to now. I'll go see him. Maybe he needs another person to talk to." Sabine told them as she got to her feet. Maybe he needed someone who wasn't his leader. She, Zeb and Ezra could sometimes talk to each other better when Hera and Kanan weren't around with the 'moral high ground' or it was sometimes easier to rant out their anger when they weren't there. Maybe that was what Ezra needed.

"Fine." Hera agreed, "if he's ready to come back tell him we have a soup ration waiting for him."

Sabine stared at it.

"Maybe I should bring it with me," she suggested.

"No, it'll have him come here. He can't hide out in anger forever." Hera answered.

Sabine rolled her eyes but nodded. Ezra would certainly try to do that. Sabine looked at all of them and told them, "okay. I'll be back."

"Try not to be too long." Hera told her.

Sabine smiled and rolled her eyes before she told the Twi'lek, "I'll be right back with him. I'll see you soon."

She gave them one last playful smile before turning and walking into a crowd of rebels, moving through them to get out of the room. Hera and Zeb stared after her before Chopper made some sounds. Hera told him, "I'll give you a oil bath later, Chopper."

Zeb cleared his throat and told them, "I told some guys from Blue Squadron that I was going to catch up with them. I'll see you two later. If I hear anything I'll get you."

Hera gave him one last smile and nodded before watching him go to a group on the other side of the cafeteria. Hera turned to Kanan and sighed, "just us."

"Yeah, a romantic dinner." Kanan joked.

Hera rolled her eyes and Chopper beeped annoyingly at them and Hera giggled, rolling her eyes.

~.~

Once outside, Sabine looked around and wondered where she should look for Ezra first. He would be wanting to hide, but wouldn't go too far in case any new news did come. She looked among the landscape. He would be somewhere in there, maybe beside or in a tree.

She was walking past the fighters, people talking in small groups when she spotted the Ghost a little bit away.

The ramp was open.

She doubted that Ezra would have found refuge in there, it would be too easy for him to find. But someone was in there and if it was Ezra she knew it was not for meditation. Sabine started a face-paced walk towards it before realizing that it turned into a jog. Running up the ramp, she looked around.

"Ezra?" she called, moving to walk up the ladder.

Once at the top, she moved quickly down the hall to his room, seeing the door open. She stopped at the doorway and saw him putting his lightsaber on his belt. She furrowed her eyebrows as he looked up at her.

"Ezra, what are you doing?" she asked him.

"What are you doing here, Sabine?" he asked, moving to walk past her.

The young Mandalorian followed him.

"Ezra, where are you going?" Sabine asked him.

"Don't worry about it." Ezra told her.

She didn't stop following him as he went down the ladder. She followed him down and when he stopped by the ramp, she stared at him. The thoughts connected together.

"You're going to Scarif," she realized.

Ezra didn't answer her. After a couple of seconds, Sabine continued, "I'm going with you."

"No you're not!" Ezra told her, raising his voice slightly to try and make it seem more like a command. No matter how many times he tried to be in control or have a commanding voice, Sabine was somehow reminded of him when he first came aboard the Ghost, short with longer hair. He had grown it own again slightly and it framed his face to make it look younger again. She could still remember him like that even though that had been a little over five years ago.

"Ezra, you're not going by yourself. You'll get yourself killed!" she told him.

"I'm not going alone!" Ezra told her.

She stared at him, shocked.

"You and a group of rebels are going to Scarif?" she asked.

He didn't answer, just turned and walked down the ramp. Sabine stared after him until he was completely gone from her sight. then, she quickly moved. Sabine raced up the ladder and down the hall to her room, putting things into her pack and belt while finding her helmet.

~.~

Ezra walked up the loading zone to see a small group or rebels around the stolen Imperial ship. Cassian and Jyn both looked over at him and gave them a small nod of acknowledgement.

"We must hurry. We are already taking more time than I wanted." Cassian told him.

Ezra nodded. He went to take another step before he sensed her in the Force and heard rushed steps coming up to him. The other rebels looked over his shoulder as Ezra turned around. Sabine jogged up to them in her armour with a pack on her back, blasters at her belt, and her helmet under her one arm.

"I'm coming with you." Sabine told them, slowing to a stop in front of them.

"Sabine, I told you not to come!" Ezra said, slightly annoyed.

"I've never listened to you before. Why start now?" Sabine told him firmly, though with a playing joke on her slight smile.

Ezra knew he wasn't going to win, so he turned to Cassian and Jyn.

"Trust me, you want her on your side."

~.~

"You almost done with those bombs?" Cassian asked Sabine.

She didn't look up as she fixed on the last one in her hand. She had heard his and Jyn's motivating speech to encourage and motivate them and knew the plan, but Sabine didn't need it. She was ready for this and she had more important things, such as working these bombs, to worry about. She didn't completely like the plan that Cassian told them. The plan was she go with the main group to set off the bombs while Ezra went with K-2, Cassian, and Jyn into the actual dragon's lair. Sabine thought that it was the first time where she didn't want to set off bombs, or even be there to see her work.

"These ones won't be as fun as mine, but they'll work. I've added some extra sting and checked them all over. They'll be ready and working," Sabine answered him.

"And they'll set right?" he asked.

"Yeah, right when we say the command."

Cassian raised his brows and made short eye contact with Ezra. The teen gave him a small grin as if to say 'I told you so'. Even though Cassian had never talked with Ezra and Sabine before, he was glad to have a weapons specialist like her with them.

"We're going to land soon," Cassian told her.

Sabine looked up at him and nodded as she gave a pack of the explosives to the other rebel group ground leader across from her that would go off into the other direction so that they would cover more ground, "good, I'm done. Let's get this started."

~.~

Hera looked at the time once again. Kanan could feel her anxiety in the Force and knew what it was about.

"I know, they've been gone for a while." Kanan agreed.

"I've got a bad feeling about this, Kanan. They've been gone for hours." Hera told him, tapping her foot on the ground in nervousness.

"That's not unusual." Kanan answered, though he was also anxious too. He also had a 'bad' feeling rolling through him and in the Force.

"I know but…something isn't sitting right with me." Hera answered.

"Maybe we should look for them." Kanan agreed.

"Zeb might have seen them." Hera nodded, moving out of her chair. Chopper made some noises and warbled around their feet as Kanan got to his feet as well.

"Yes, Chopper, if they did something you can zap them." Hera agreed, though worried as she and Kanan went to go outside, seeing Zeb leave with the other group an hour before.

Hera spotted him quickly, still talking with the group with more that had joined.

"Zeb!" she called, walking over to him.

The purple Lasat looked back at her and noticed their worried faces. His smile dropped and he walked forward without saying anything to the other group. Zeb immediately knew that something was wrong by their expressions and Hera's wide eyes with worry. He had only seen that look a couple of times in all the years he was part of her crew and knew that she was sure something was wrong if that was the look she had.

"What's wrong?"

"Have you seen Ezra and Sabine anywhere?" Hera asked, "they've just disappeared. We haven't seen them for hours."

Zeb looked between them and shrugged.

"Ezra was upset. Maybe he just walked off and hid somewhere, you know, like he used to." Zeb suggested.

"That was years ago." Kanan told him.

"And you haven't seen Sabine?" Hera asked.

"The last time I saw her was when I was with you and she said she was going to check on Ezra." the Lasat answered.

Kanan's ears suddenly picked up a conversation from behind them. He turned around just to hear the end of it. Without thinking, he walked forward immediately to hear the conversation better, but it was already over. Hera and Zeb immediately followed with Chopper at her heels. Kanan stopped behind Mon Mothma.

"I'm sorry, what did you say Senator Monthma?" Kanan asked her.

Mothma stared between the three sentients and ended at Hera's rather worried face.

"It seems that some rebels have gone rogue and are on Scarif," Mothma told them.

Hera and Kanan immediately turned to each other and despite being blind, Kanan knew exactly what her face expressed.

"Ezra." Kanan grumbled worriedly.

"Some of yours are there?" Mothma asked Hera.

"I think so," she answered.

"There are some groups g—," Mothma didn't even get a chance to finish her sentence.

"We're going too." Hera confirmed, already moving past Mothma with Kanan and Zeb.

"General Syndulla—."

"If Ezra and Sabine are risking their lives for this then so are we!" Hera insisted before the four Spectors went to the Ghost to follow the rest of their crew.

~.~

Sabine had to admit that she wished she were high in the air to be able to see how her colour explosives looked going off in coordination and in accenting the normal ones, how the dominoes going off must have looked in the whole scene or the island, but she couldn't even focus on that. She was too worried about Ezra and what how he was doing sneaking in with Cassian, Jyn, and K-2. She had been with the others, and it was the first time that she couldn't even enjoy sneaking around the camp and setting the explosives. Usually the sneaking was one of the best things about going on missions, next to the colour explosive bombs. But her mind was to how Ezra was doing. She didn't have any contact with him and it made her nervous not to even com him and ask him if he was even alive.

She had tried to focus. She had taken the compliment of when one of the rebels in her group looked over at her as they saw some bombs go off in a colour explosion. 'That you?' 'You bet' and he smiled 'nice work. We need to make those popular in the rebellion. It nicely sets off their clear cut black and white.' And she had smiled and for a couple of moments she was okay, but then her mind went back. And it went back when the Imperial bucket heads were firing at them. And it came back when she saw the other members of her group dying as they tried to make it back to the ship. It had come back when she realized that walkers had come upon the beach.

All of this dying and she couldn't save them. All this dying and she didn't even know if Ezra was alive still.

~.~

Ezra deflected more blaster shots as K-2 was both shooting the Imperials and doing his best to help Jyn and Cassian get the plans for the Death Star, helping them label it and get it out.

The Imperials were coming in larger groups and almost in waves. Ezra was doing his best, moving his lightsaber through Imperials and deflecting their blaster shots back at them. He looked back at the droid. He soon realized that the two of them couldn't do this. They were trying to hold off this party for Jyn and Cassian so they could get the plans but he didn't know how much harder they could go.

"K-2?" Ezra called back.

"Don't you think I know?" the droid countered, "go to the next exit they can try to break through. I will trap those here."

Ezra looked back.

"Are you sure?" he asked.

"Do I need to tell you the percentage of this suc—."

"Alright." Ezra told him, moving down the hall to the next entrance that the Imperials could try and go through, cutting through some Imperials with his saber before hearing an explosion a short time later.

~.~

She was covering behind one of the boxes, aiming at the bucket heads that would go by. She had to admit that she was surprised. They were a small group and the number of casualties on the Imperial side was surprising, especially with the Jedi not around.

Sabine was the last who was left of her group. She had slowly made her way back to the ship, hoping that she would be able to get into it. If it could load up then perhaps she could get Ezra and the others and they could fly their way back up with the Death Star plans. Or even just meet the rebels that had been reported to her going in the sky. She could see the the lights, blasting in the air like small dots.

Out of the corner of her eye as she moved down to another box, she noticed Bodhi with something in his hand, like a large black wire or circuit. She saw him hiding quickly behind the boxes, just barely avoiding getting shot by the blaster. She rushed foreward, avoiding the blasters herself and shooting a bucket head square in the chest before he went down and she dropped down beside Bodhi.

"What is that?!" she asked him.

"It's a connector!" he explained quickly, "when this connects to the ship we'll be able to send a message to the rebel fleet! If they can take down that force field then the data plans will be able to be transmitted!"

Sabine nodded. Not so bad of an idea. She looked around, nearly avoiding another blaster shot.

"I'll cover you! Let's go!" Sabine told him.

He nodded, clutching the end of that wire or whatever it was close to his chest. Sabine came to her feet first, firing at two Imperials immediately, one on her left and one on her right before Bodhi came up close beside her. They ran to the ramp of the ship, Sabine twisting a couple of times to aim at Imperials behind them. She caught two on her one side and stayed on the ramp, still shooting a couple of imperials while Bodhi took cover inside. When she saw no more near her in sight, she ran up the ramp as well, watching him contact one of the Rebel Fleet leaders. She turned to him when he was done and said, "I'll see if we can make that connection any stronger."

He nodded and watched her go to the front of the ship, looking at all of the controls. There had to be something. She had been at the Academy not too long ago…okay a while ago but had things changed this much? Suddenly all lessons Hera taught her quickly left her mind and she tried desperately to remember any of them.

She was so deep in her thoughts that she didn't hear the beeping of the bomb that dropped close to Bodhi. She was in the middle of a thought when the blast suddenly forced her forward, crushing her through the front window of the ship violently. Her small body went through it like a large boulder. It was so fast that Sabine didn't even have time to scream.

She flew a couple of feet away before she hit the ground, almost bouncing up when hitting it from the force that she went through. Her helmet had been flung off her in the blast when she was out of the window, but that still left her with some cuts and bruises on her cheeks and forehead. She groaned, slightly dazed and holding her side and whimpering in pain as she tried to get up. Everything ached. Everything. She had some horrible wound on her side, a cut and harsh impact bruising. She was sure she broke at least two ribs. And she had landed on her ankle the wrong way and there was an aching electricity coming from it too. She blinked a couple of times and looked around, the effect of the blast still in the charged air.

She forced herself, biting her lip until it bled, to crawl over to the nearest box to take cover before sitting against it. She rested her head at the side and closed her eyes. Her one hand held her side where her armour was ripped and cracked while her other hand was placed over the one blaster that managed to stay clipped to her belt. She sighed and heard more blaster shots. She opened her eyes again and carefully moved, sitting on her knees with her blaster set on top of the box. She saw the damn bucket head and aimed, firing and watching him fall.

~.~

Ezra helped Cassian up the ladder to the top of the Imperial dock, where he could sense Jyn was. Her signature was strong, but weakening. She had been injured. But that sense wasn't as strong as what he felt in the Force with Sabine. Something had happened. She was alive but she was in a lot of pain and very weak.

Once at the opening, Ezra gazed at the bright world around them with Cassian's arms around his shoulders as he helped keep the Captain on his feet. The sun was bright, casting a glow on everything. But he and Cassian's eyes soon set on Krennic with his gun held out, aimed at Jyn.

Before Ezra could get his lightsaber, Cassian had already brought his blaster up and took the shot. Both Ezra and Jyn stared at him in amazement before Jyn rushed forward.

"We still have to deliver the plans!" Jyn told them.

Ezra nodded and Cassian moved off of him, slowly walking to her. The Captain looked back at him and saw the look on his face and silently asked the question.

"Sabine…" he told them.

Cassian nodded, understanding.

"Go, we'll do this. You find her," the Captain nodded.

Ezra nodded back and looked between the two.

"May the Force be with you," he told them before turning his back, rushing through the base to find Sabine.

~.~

There weren't so many bucket heads around on the ground anymore. They were thinning out. Things were dying out. She could feel it. It was all going to end soon.

She still hadn't heard from Ezra and she could only hope that he was alive and that he, Jyn, Cassian, and K-2 were doing a lot better than they had.

She moved to rest against the side of the box, breathing heavily. She looked down at her side and noticed that her armour and clothing around her side wound was damp and red with blood. She set her blaster down on her other side and closed her eyes only for about a minute before she heard Ezra's voice.

"Sabine?!"

Sabine's eyes quickly fluttered open. He was alive.

She looked around to see him turn the corner of the box and stare down at her, paler than normal with a deeply worried expression on his face.

Sabine stared up at Ezra. He could feel her pain in the Force but he didn't think she would look like this.

"You look like you went through the ringer." Ezra commented.

"I went through the ship's front window," Sabine told him, her voice a little rough as she eased herself into a better sitting stance to try and ease any pain.

Ezra immediately kneeled down in front of her to help her and try to ease any of her pain. He could sense the shooting electricity of it through the Force. She stared up at him as his hands gently held her waist to help her position herself. He looked over her face. She looked exhausted. Some of her cuts on her cheeks were still bleeding.

"The weapon…" Sabine started.

"We did it." Ezra told her with a smile, "we did it, Sabine! The layout is probably given to the rebellion by now. We were able to send them up."

Sabine smiled. They did it. They actually did it.

Ezra looked around and saw that most Imperials had disappeared. He looked down at her and told her, "we need to move. If the rebels are going to find us and Hera is going to wring us out we need to get in a better spot. Let's head to the beach where they can see us and can land."

Although moving was the last thing that she wanted to do, Sabine nodded. Ezra moved in closer to try and pick her up, but Sabine pushed him away.

"I can walk it." Sabine told him.

"Are you sure?" Ezra hesitated.

"Yes." Sabine answered.

He nodded and moved close. Sabine grunted as Ezra helped her put her arm over his shoulders. He gently placed his other arm around her waist, her bad side against him and her twisted ankle on that side so she could limp easier. When Ezra carefully moved them to stand up, Sabine hissed in pain, closing her eyes as she put her weight against him. Ezra held her up, pulling her to him so he could easily catch her weight and help channel it. Sabine breathed through her nose to keep her mouth closed so that she wouldn't scream.

"Are you sure about this?" Ezra asked her, sensing her pain.

Sabine nodded and forced herself to say in a calm voice, "let's go."

Ezra nodded and slowly moved forward. Sabine followed, putting weight on her bad foot for a moment and it sent another bout of electricity up her side and increasing the pain on her same side. Sabine could barely hold in a whimper, but kept moving forward before Ezra could even ask again. She was able to hold in most of her noises, only whimpering a couple more times as they carefully and slowly made their way to out of the trees. Ezra was leading her and moving slowly, wondering if anyone from the rebellion was trying to come down now.

As they broke through the trees, they were suddenly blinded by a bright light, brighter than any sun. Sabine and Ezra put up their hands to shield their eyes, but before one could ask what the light was, there was a sudden, deep rumbling in the planet.

They both were brought to the ground, Sabine collapsing while Ezra's tumble was more like a fall to the side when there was a sudden loud explosion that shook the world to the core.

~.~

Hera saw the light from that giant weapon that it came from stop. Then later disappearing, but where the end of it hit the planet, she could suddenly see it erupt, earth and water moving so high it could have almost hit the forcefield that used to be around the planet. She felt her heart stop and her stomach drop as she took in a shaky, deep breath. _Please don't let them be on the ground. Please don't let them be on the ground…_

~.~

Ezra turned to Sabine as they laid on the ground, Sabine clutching her side in pain from the collapse. The warning from the Force was so strong now, a complete change in atmosphere. The air was completely changed and charged. Something happened. Something bad was happening now. Sabine grunted, the planet still shaking from underneath them. She looked back up at him and groaned.

"What was that?" she asked.

Ezra twisted slightly and looked up and carefully sat up. He looked up and saw a large mountain of…dirt on the horizon. It was like the only thing beyond the horizon was a flat, bright wall.

Sabine also looked up at it. She felt like the wind had been knocked out of her. That was the weapon. That's what it could do. Ezra wondered where Jyn and Cassian were, if they could see it too.

Sabine looked up at the sky and noticed something very far in the distance in the sky. It looked metallic, but it was as large as a moon and even a small planet. Sabine's voice shook slightly, "Ezra, I think that's it."

The Jedi looked up as well and saw the thing, large and terrifying in its magnitude.

"I think so too." Ezra answered her as he sat up completely, sitting on his legs before moving to help her up as well. Sabine still stared at the wall in front of her, moaning in pain in a low, almost unheard voice as Ezra moved her closer to him. She curled up in pain, her side sending a shooting pain all up her side.

The Jedi carefully moved her holding her up in his arms as he moved his own position so that he was sitting with his legs crossed. He carefully brought her to him and set her on his lap with the utmost care. Throughout all of this, she her gaze did not leave the incoming wall, the planet rumbling lowly beneath them.

Both of them were silent for about a minute, just watching it come closer over the water. Sabine had carefully leaned against him and Ezra kept his arms around her.

"We're not going to make it out. They aren't going to find us before that…hits us." Sabine commented to him. It wasn't a question, but a statement. She knew.

Ezra shook his head, "no, we're not."

"Hera's going to kill us," Sabine laughed, almost darkly in a mutter.

Ezra couldn't help but let out a small laugh. He held Sabine a little tighter on his lap. He could feel her fear rising slightly despite the joke, or perhaps that was why she told the joke. He looked up at the horizon, the horrible, bright blast slowly making its way closer and closer to them, an impending doom taking it's time to scare her.

"Yeah," Ezra agreed. He believed her. Hera and Kanan would be so angry. They never even had a proper goodbye, but he hoped that there was some comfort that nothing had changed. They went behind Hera and Kanan's back for a mission that they believed in. That was nothing new. There was some familiarity and he hoped that if there could be any comfort to be found in this situation it was that.

There was silence between them as the two crew members looked over at the disappearing horizon, the wall of dust and earth coming closer with the light of the explosion becoming brighter and brighter. Ezra was brought out of his thoughts when he heard Sabine's soft voice again.

"It's…actually kind of pretty…in a kind of twisted, poetic way." Sabine commented as she looked over at the light as it moved higher and got brighter.

Ezra looked over at it, taking a deep breath in.

"Yeah…I guess it kind of does." Ezra answered.

She was talking because she was scared, even if those were her real thoughts. Ezra could sense it. He shifted slightly in a more comfortable sitting position, moving Sabine slightly as well to make her more comfortable with him in the new position without making her pain worse.

"It's okay to be afraid," he whispered. "I am too."

Sabine was quiet for a moment, watching the light come closer. They would be in it in a matter of a few short minutes now.

"I don't want to be," Sabine answered, still looking at the incoming destruction. "I've done so many things that have gotten me close. I shouldn't be."

Ezra moved his hand up her arm. While he felt confident in what was going to happen, that he would be okay and there would be something afterwards, something good. That maybe he could even be with his parents. Maybe he would meet other Force users that have died. Maybe he would meet Depa. It was a morbid interest he had, but he was confident either way. And he didn't want her to be afraid.

"Then why are you?" he asked.

She was silent again for a couple of seconds.

"I'm afraid you will be alone…that I will be alone. That there is nothing but coldness after this, that it won't be quick." Sabine answered, her voice small now with her eyes still never wavering from what was coming.

The young Jedi held her tighter, hugging her close. He moved his hand as the rumbling in the earth below them shook more. The wind was picking up, moving their hair to dance around their head and in front of their eyes. Ezra looked down at his friend and told her, "Sabine, look at me."

It took a couple of moments, but soon her gaze shifted and her head moved to look up at him. He stared down at her and told her in a serious tone, "I won't let you be alone. I promise. I'll find you."

She stared up at him, not knowing what to say first. While her attention was caught with him and he could feel her distress lessening in the Force, he continued to talk.

"And when we're together again, I'll have you meet my parents. We'll trade stories. It'll be peaceful. It will be okay." Ezra told her.

They could feel the dust hitting them now, hard. The wind picked up more, scratching at their cheeks and arms.

"You promise?" she asked.

"I promise," he told her. "I'll find you. You won't be alone."

She nodded and leaned into him. She may not have been a Jedi, but she could feel their connection, how they felt safe with each other, how she felt safe now, with him and that she wasn't alone in her last moments nor afterward. She wasn't alone. She knew that she couldn't feel this calm if she was alone, behind that box, not knowing what had happened to him.

The rocks felt sharper, and the brightness almost starting to blind them. She moved her head and closed her eyes so nothing would get in them, a natural reaction even though it wouldn't have mattered if her eyes were damaged.

She felt Ezra hold her tighter and move to push her face gently against his chest, as though to cover her. He leaned his head down and closed his own eyes, his head bent so that his forehead was at the top of her head.

"Don't look," he told her.

Her hands gripped his shirt and he held her as tight as he could.

"I'll find you," he promised h…

~.~

It was so quick that neither of them felt a thing. In a split second, Kanan felt them in the Force. A calm, peacefulness that was cut so suddenly and was gone. His chest clenched and Kanan almost doubled over in the seat, his hand to his heart.

~.~

After the Ghost docked on Yavin 4, Hera, Kanan, Zeb, and Chopper walked across the rebel territory. Hera's gaze turned from the new ships coming in to the ones that were unloading rebels, pilots moving out of their fighters, some more tired and some fighters looking worse than others. Kanan wanted to tell her, and he knew she already knew. But she needed to do this just to know.

She sought out Mothma, or Bail…or anyone she knew would give her a straight answer about where Sabine and Ezra could be. There were rebels getting treated, rebels who were smiling, and rebels who were in celebration. The plans had gone through.

Rogue One was successful.

Hera's steps were two before the others, walking forward and looking around until she spotted Mothma with a type of data pad in her hands, talking with Red Leader. Hera's steps quickened and the others followed, picking up their pace but it was still slower than hers. The senator wrote something on the data pad before looking up and noticing the Twi'lek General coming over. She could barely acknowledge the General before Hera was right beside them.

"Senator…I hate to interrupt, but is there any news?" Hera asked them, "I heard that you and a couple other Generals are starting a list for the deceased."

Mothma and the Red Leader looked at each other and the man gave her a small nod, a frown on his face before stepping away, not looking Hera or the others in the eyes as Kanan, Zeb, and Chopper moved up to stand with them. The senator turned to them and frowned.

"Is there…anything?" Hera asked, hoping that her worry didn't come out in her voice too much.

Mothma sighed, and told her, "I'm still making a list. It's…extensive. But…"

Hera felt her throat tighten and feel as though it'll close up. She felt her breathing get a little heavy.

"Hera…no one from Rogue One survived. They were all still on the ground of Scarif when the Empire…the word I keep hearing is 'blew up', the territory there," Mothma explained to the Twi'lek, her voice gentle and full of sadness. "I know that you had some of your crew was a part of the team but…there isn't a way they would have survived. I'm sorry."

Hera tried to gulp but her throat was completely closed up. She suddenly felt nauseous and hoped that her chin was trembling as the thought fully processed in her head. Ezra and Sabine were gone. They had died in that explosion. She had seen it. She knew that if those two were still on the ground during the explosion that they couldn't have escaped it. And even so, there was the chance that they could have died before the explosion…she may never know. But she knew that in the end, no matter what had happened, Sabine and Ezra were gone and there was no way she was going to be able to retrieve their bodies. She could only hope that they weren't in too much pain when it happened, that they didn't suffer. Her last moments with them was when Ezra was mad and he walked off. She should have known that he would do something with that determined look in his eyes. She remembered seeing him walk off, disappearing into the crowd. Sabine was the same. A last smile from her and a 'I'll be right back with him. I'll see you soon.' Those were her last moments with them and she didn't know it.

She felt Kanan's hands on her shoulders as he stepped up behind her. She could hear Chopper making soft, sad beeping noises behind her. Zeb was looking at the ground, anger and pain in his eyes. Kanan's hands moved up and down her arms in an attempt to comfort her. Looked back up at Mothma and tried to hold a brave face. She shouldn't look weak. She was a General. But all she saw in the other woman's face was nothing by sympathy and empathy. She knew how attached they all were to each other.

Mothma told her, "I'm sorry, Hera, but if it is any consolation, they were successful in their mission. Thanks to them, we have the plans to the Death Star and we'll be able to stop it. Bail sent his daughter Leia on the mission. You know that they would have not died in vain and that they died for this rebellion and for a better future for the galaxy. Leia will not fail them."

Hera nodded. Kanan's hands stopped at the top of her shoulders and she looked up at Mothma, feeling some tears glaze her eyes.

"I know," she told her. She did. Ezra and Sabine fought for a mission they knew had to happen and they were a part of it. Because of them, the rebellion could destroy the Death Star. They were part of the team that brought back hope. "They fought and died for what they believed in. They wouldn't have wanted it any other way."

"They brought hope to the galaxy. You should be proud." Mothma told them.

"I know," Hera answered her, "and I am."


	2. Chapter 2

Summary: Part 2 of 4. After the death of Ezra and Sabine when they attended the Battle of Scariff, Hera is having a hard time bringing herself and what is left of her family back together.

Hera turned up the radio in the hallway as she went to the galley of her ship. She wasn't that hungry, but she knew that she needed to eat something. She hadn't ate anything since she was on Yavin 4 and that was only a small ration can. It was about time that they all…all three of them eat. So, she left Chopper to pilot the Ghost to Phoenix Home while she would make something, knowing that if she didn't then the other two members wouldn't eat anything either.

Going through the cupboards, she realized that they had to pick up supplies again, but she found a couple of cans of thin broth. As she opened the cans, she listened past the radio to see if she could hear Zeb and Kanan, but she didn't hear anything. They had barely even seen each other in the past hours.

After starting to boil the broth, she cut up what was left of the vegetables and put them in the broth before stirring it all in. Then, she added some spices to taste before letting it brew, placing the lid on top. When that was all done, Hera leaned against the counter and looked around, wondering what she was going to do now. She yawned and thought about making another cup of caf before deciding against it.

As tired as Hera was, she couldn't sleep. She had tried napping a couple of times during the trip since she couldn't go to sleep at all the night before, but she had given up. She was tired, but she couldn't sleep. She couldn't get comfortable, she was either too hot or too cold, she wasn't in the right position, and worse of all whenever she closed her eyes her mind projected mental images she had of Sabine and Ezra. Of them smiling, of them laughing, of Sabine making her art, of them running or even just fixing the ship. She pictured them in every memory. Even them just walking seemed to swell her heart to a point where there was a physical ache in her chest.

She stopped counting how many cups of caf she had after five. She knew that she shouldn't be this sleep deprived and drinking that much caf, but she didn't know what else to really do as a break from the pilot's chair. Zeb and Kanan had locked themselves in their rooms and time she would spend even just talking and joking with the others was now filled with empty time.

So she leaned against the counter the whole time, staring at the wall with slightly wide eyes and listening to the radio, moving only to stir the stew every now and then.

* * *

After a while, when the stew had thickened up, she got out three bowls for them, moving silently with her footsteps echoing in the room. She had filled the three bowls to almost the rim and set one out on the table and the other two on a tray, still moving silently. When that was done, she got spoons and set them in the bowls before going down the hallways to her crew mate's rooms.

She knocked at Zeb's first, waiting by the entrance as she heard movement inside. She heard his heavy footsteps even over the music come to the door and took a step back when the 'swoosh' of the door opening rang throughout the hallway. A tired Zeb stared back at her and Hera offered a slight, forced smile.

"I made us something. I don't really think any of us have ate since." Hera stated, holding out her tray to him.

Zeb nodded and took one of the bowls and telling her in a small voice, "uh, thanks."

She nodded once before looking past him into the room. She could see some of Ezra's things like his clothes around the room, the picture that Sabine drew of Ezra and Zeb still on the wall. Hera gulped before looking away.

"We should be at the home base in under two hours." Hera told him.

Zeb nodded, " 'kay."

She watched him close the door and she gave out a silent sigh, not wanting to say anything more. She understood his want to stay looked down at the last bowl before moving towards Kanan's room. She knocked at the door and called softly, "Kanan?"

She didn't hear any movement on the other side. She knocked again after a couple of seconds, "love?"

Again, there was no movement. Hera's brows furrowed and she opened the door anyway. Kanan had been hiding in his room ever since they got on the Ghost after muttering, "I need to meditate". She would sometimes hear him come out, but that was hours and hours ago. And he was always silent in his room. He didn't come to her room at all. She hadn't even heard his voice since they were on Yavin 4.

When the door was open, though, Hera saw why he may not have answered her. she saw him laying in bed with his hair down, seemingly asleep. Standing at the entryway, Hera stared at him and wondered what to do. He looked peaceful, but she didn't know if he was sleeping or not. So, Hera silently walked into the room and set the last bowl of soup on the nightstand beside him. After tucking the tray under her arm, Hera looked down at Kanan, letting him be if this was an act; but just incase it wasn't, Hera moved his blanket up and over him. She didn't like him spending all of this time alone. She didn't want him to shut himself out of the world because of what happened. But she wouldn't press him right now.

After setting the blanket up and over his shoulders, she silently left the room, shutting the door behind her before going back to the table where her own bowl waited, steaming. Hera forced herself to eat it.

* * *

After docking themselves as Phoenix Home and informing the Squadron that she was on her way to the briefing room, Hera had went around to Zeb and Kanan's rooms. She knocked at their doors and called, "Kanan, Zeb! We're docked. Sato's already ready for us."

"I'll meet you there!" Zeb called back.

"One moment." Kanan answered, although his voice was not as loud as Zeb's.

Hera sighed and looked at Chopper. He warbled something and she answered him, "don't shock them, but make sure they do come."

He warbled again, his head twisting all around in a full 360 twist. She gave him a small smile before moving out of the Ghost to meet Sato.

The floor didn't seem still or stable as she walked in the halls of Phoenix Home. The walls seemed to move and twist in ways that they hadn't before. Hera began to wonder if it was because of her nerves of informing Sato about her two crew members as she gave a detailed report to what was the Rogue One mission or just the thought of having all those eyes staring at her, how Sato and the others would react.

Her steps echoed in her ear as she made it to the large room, a room which she was sure would feel like it was collapsing under. The small hallways already felt like that, she didn't want to see that when it was like a dome around her. She didn't know why she was so nervous. Death was inevitable in a rebellion. There have been deaths in Phoenix Squadron before. And they should be considered more than lucky. With Phoenix Squadron in the air during the air attack, they were lucky they didn't lose anyone else when so many other groups did. Their only loss was Ezra and Sabine. That should be considered lucky. That was the positive spin, wasn't it? That there were only two deaths in their cell when it could have, and almost should have, been more.

She saw Sato before she made it to the room and immediately her throat went dry at the sight of him. He was standing down the hall from her destination. He was waiting for her, she knew he was and she didn't know if that was a good sign or not. But he looked up at her when she walked down the hall. Her footsteps echoing seemed to be louder for some reason.

Soon enough, the distance between them became none and they stared at each other, Hera wondering how she should start, but it was Sato who said something first.

"I, umm, heard what happened." Sato told her in a low voice that wasn't quite a whisper.

Hera gulped but nodded, looking down for a couple of seconds before looking back up at him.

"Who sent the message?" Hera asked.

"Mothma." Sato answered, "I heard that some cells in Phoenix Squadron were a part of the Battle of Scarif. I knew that was you and your crew along with some others. Before I knew you were coming back, I got sent the list of deceased from the Battle of Scarif."

Hera nodded, "I'm sorry. I should have sent a message to you sooner."

"I understand why you took a bit of time," he answered her, a empathetic frown on his face. He had seen how close the group was. She had worked closely with those two for five or more years. That bond between a group was more than well established. It became a part of you. He had been close with others who have died and he knew how she felt.

She nodded and looked down as they walked. When they got into the main briefing room, she saw that everyone had a glass and some type of pale brown, almost clear liquid inside it. She was aware of everyone staring out at her and she could hear footsteps behind her as two people were coming down the hallway as well. Confused, Hera turned to Sato to ask the question, but he already had a glass in his hand and was holding it out to her.

"What's this?" she asked as she took the glass.

Sato smiled slightly before turning slightly. Hera turned as well and saw Kanan and Zeb walking over as well with Chopper rolling behind them. The Twi'lek gave them a small smile. In the brighter light they looked more tired, more slouched. They stopped near them and noticed that everyone was looking at them too.

"It's a toast," Sato answered, "for Ezra and Sabine."

Hera stared at him, eyes wide with shock. She wasn't expecting this…although she wasn't expecting everyone to know either. In a way though, she was glad. She didn't have to break the news to them. She didn't have to force out the actual words that she could barely accept in her own thoughts. She rubbed her chin to make sure that it wasn't going up and down. She wouldn't cry. Not in front of Sato and not in front of the rest of the squadron. Unfortunately rebels died. Her emotions did not make her special.

"Sato, you didn't have to," Hera told him.

But Sato shrugged.

"Ezra and Sabine were important to this rebellion. They deserve a toast for all they have done just like all of the others we have lost," Sato explained as he gave Kanan and Zeb glasses as well.

Hera just stared at him for a couple of moments before looking at all of the others in the room. The Captain knew that this would fall to her since she was in fact the Captain. As much as she didn't want to do it, she didn't want to show that she couldn't. She was the Captain. She had to be strong.

She sighed and took a step in, Zeb and Kanan reluctantly following her. They came because they thought they had to tell Sato of the Battle of Scarif, not for a toast.

Once in front of the room, she was starting to really feel their eyes on her now. She was under all of them. Everyone was watching her. They were watching her body language and they were watching how she walked and they were watching her eyes. She felt as though she were under a microscope. She didn't think that they were wanting her to break down and it definitely wasn't for entertainment purposes, but they were watching for any sign that the great Captain Hera Syndulla

She looked around and stopped, finding a very familiar face among the crowd.

Rex.

He looked sad and gripped his glass with a strength that Hera could guess was putting pressure on it to not break. She hadn't worked with him specifically in a couple of months. The jobs he would join them on became odder and odder over the years, but there was still a calm, friendly familiarity when he did come to work with them and they always enjoyed his company even i they just saw him around Phoenix Home. He stared at her with a sorrowful look that she knew was complete empathy and Hera was reminded that Rex, out of everyone in this room, knew _exactly_ what she was feeling.

Taking a deep breath, she looked his way to the more familiar face to give her a bit more stability.

"I won't repeat what Sato has told you…" Hera started in the silence, wondering if her voice was actually echoing in the room as much as she thought it was in her head, "but…I will confirm it."

She took a bit of a breath, pausing to think about how she would start this. After almost ten seconds, she finally continued.

"Yesterday we lost two of our own," Hera told the group. She looked at all of them, making eye contact with a couple before she ended at Sato. He had a sad look in his eye as he held the cup in his hand. Hera looked down at her own cup before telling them, "Sabine Wren and Ezra Bridger joined the Rogue One team. They went to Scarif to retrieve plans and layouts of the Empire's new and highly violent and destructive weapon even though under specific orders not to by a dismissal of the plan by the Council."

She went silent again, taking another breath to make sure that her voice was steady. She continued, hoping to build the inspiration that she had felt thinking of Ezra and Sabine lately to bring up their own spirits.

"Because of them and their fight and sacrifice along with the others of Rogue One, the rebellion was able to get the layout plans for the Death Star. Rogue One fought and died for a better future and because of them, there will be. In history, there will be stories of Rogue One. They will teach it in history courses and their names will echo for centuries. History will never forget Ezra Bridger and Sabine Wren. History will never forget any of them. And neither will we."

Everyone else in the room nodded in agreement. Rex was the first to raise his glass.

"To Ezra and Sabine," Rex said.

Everyone in the room lifted their glass in the air for a communal toast.

"To Ezra and Sabine." they all agreed before drinking from the glass.

Hera stared down at her glass for a moment before taking a drink. She turned around to look at Kanan. He was leaning against the wall close to the door, Zeb on the other side of him. After the Jedi had taken his drink, he set it down on the table beside him. He said something to Zeb and turned to leave, not looking back at her. Slightly alarmed, Hera walked to Zeb. She didn't need to ask because Zeb understood just by her expression.

"He said that since there was no briefing about what happened that he was going to go." Zeb answered her.

There was a slight pause and Hera answered his silent question so that he didn't need to say it.

"Yeah, it's alright. I'm sure I'll be back soon too." Hera told him.

The Lasat just gave her a nod and set his own cup down before turning from her. Hera stood there, as though she had just been drenched in cold water. She had never felt her crew this disassociated, this closed off to each other. They could always be together before. They could always talk and open up to each other before. The dynamic was completely changed between the last members and every moment she tried to interact with them the more she realized this fact. It made her feel isolated and alone. She knew that wasn't their intention but that didn't stop her feelings nonetheless.

She was brought out of her thoughts suddenly when Chopper mumbled something to her. The green Twi'lek looked down and gave him a small smile, "thanks for bringing them, Chopper. I didn't know Sato already was debriefed on everything. Can you watch them though? Make sure that they get back to the Ghost alright?"

He warbled and moved to almost lean back before he followed them with a type of warbled goodbye. She stared after them still, feeling hallow in her chest as her shoulders sunk.

She didn't know how long she was just standing there, staring off down the hall until there was a tap at her shoulder. Her head whipped quickly to the side to see who was there. But she saw no one but Rex, giving her a small smile.

"Glad to see you here, General." Rex told her.

"Well I wasn't expecting all of this. I wish Sato told me." Hera said, her voice trailing off again as she looked down the hallway her missing crew members went down.

Nodding, Rex answered her, "I understand. I'm guessing that they didn't really want to come."

 _They didn't really want to do anything,_ Hera thought. She didn't answer him at first, only moving to look down at the glass that was in her hand. She rolled it around her fingers before placing it on the table where Kanan and Zeb placed their glasses as well. She sighed and shook her head, "no…not particularly."

From behind her, Rex nodded. He looked her over. She was hunched over slightly, her shoulders dropped and her head was down. It was an unusual look for her. He had always seen her with her head high, confidence radiating out of her.

The old clone sighed and told her, "hey, why don't we go to my room and talk about it. I think it would be good for you."

Truthfully, that was the last thing that Hera wanted to do. Hera didn't want to talk about it and she didn't want to talk about Kanan and Zeb behind their backs. She didn't want her mind to dwell on this, but she knew avoiding it wouldn't be good. And perhaps confiding in Rex would help her with Kanan. Maybe he would know how Hera could approach him. She would do this for them.

After a couple of moments, she nodded, giving in.

"Okay," she agreed.

He nodded and lead her, moving slowly so she could walk beside him. Although it seemed like she was trying, Hera fell back a step. Rex didn't like her slightly blank stare as they walked. She seemed to be following him, but not really recognizing where they were going.

Once they were at his bunk, he kept the door open for her. She looked up at him and smiled in acknowledgement before moving forward slowly, as though she was forcing herself too. Rex followed her inside and shut the door before he motioned to his bed for her to sit on.

"Uh, make yourself comfortable." he told her, moving to bring a chair from the other side of the room to sit close to the bed.

Hera did so and watched as Rex sat across from her, though still close. He sighed and rubbed the back of his head.

"Hera, I know that you don't want to talk about this, but you should." Rex told her.

The Twi'lek shrugged.

"I don't know what to say," Hera admitted.

Rex nodded and asked her, hoping to ease into it, "well, how is Kanan doing?"

There was some silence that seemed to echo in the small space before Hera answered him.

"He's been pretty quiet," Hera answered him. "I don't…know what's going on. I know that Jedi are supposed to have this connection between Master and Padawan. And…I don't know what happened to that when Ezra died."

Rex nodded, remembering vividly the connection his own Commander and General had. He remembered how it could almost be them talking silently, to each other in the Force, or how in a snow storm his General always knew where to walk to find Ahsoka. After she left, his General wasn't the same, but she didn't die either.

Rex turned to Hera and saw her still staring in front of her at the controls, her stare blank and her eyes tired.

"I don't know how to help him. I don't know what to do. I don't know what to say," Hera admitted. "I mean…he lost his Master, but I don't think it was the same. I think it's worse now. He didn't know Depa for too long. With Ezra…"

"For years." Rex answered.

Hera nodded, "five years…almost six. I know they were close and the connection that they must've had…I'm not Force sensitive and I don't know exactly how that all works but I know that it had to be something powerful."

There was silence between them. Hera sighed and moved to sit back in the chair, her fingers holding the arms of the chair tightly. She took in shallow breaths before moving her fingers to tap the arms of the chair.

"What about Zeb?" Rex asked.

Hera shrugged, "he has a good poker face. He can hold in things well. He goes to their room and sleeps even though Ezra isn't there and I haven't really noticed a change in behaviour besides him being more quiet, not making as many jokes. But it's still early in all of this. It hasn't even been two days since they've died. And he's been through this before, at a much greater scale. I think he's used to masking his feelings, but I haven't seen any troubling behaviour."

Rex nodded understandingly. He had seen many different reactions that his brothers had when they lost another brother, especially one that they were very close to. He understood the loyalty in this group, the family-like feeling he always had with his brothers. And he understood how Hera felt. He was a Captain himself all those years ago and he understood Hera's position to be the strong one in times like this. And from that, he understood that she needed to let her own feelings out or else they would come all at once and it could be really ugly if that happens. He had seen what bottled up emotions could do to someone. It wasn't good and he didn't want her to make the same mistake he had.

"What about you?" Rex asked, prompting her to express her feelings.

Hera was silent though for a while, just staring in front of her before she started to blink a little fast.

She shrugged, looking away and biting her lip. Rex could see the sorrow in her eyes. He noticed that her eyes were starting to glaze over a little before she blinked quickly to make them disappear. He doubted that she would completely delve out all of her feelings just yet, but he could see that she was trying to hold it all in by the way that she was shaking. He needed to prompt her to open up. So, Rex spoke in a soft voice:

"Hera, you don't need to be so strong. It's okay." Rex tried to guide her.

Hera immediately shook her head.

"I'm the leader. I have to be strong for them." Hera whispered.

Rex sighed and moved to place a hand on her shoulder. Hera acknowledged it internally, but didn't make any physical motion for Rex to know. Rex squeezed her shoulder lightly and told her, "Hera, you need to let this out. I've been where you are and you don't want to hold this all in because it'll come out eventually and when it does…it'll be a lot worse."

She stared at him, confused.

"What do you mean?"

Rex sighed and gave her a sad smile before relaxing into the chair.

"I was…about two months and a half into my commanding role as Captain. I'd been in a number of battles by then. I'd lost a little over 800 brothers during my time at command. I tried to hold it all in. Finally one day I just…let go. Wolffe, Gree, and Cody were talking to me. I guess a lot of my men were telling them that I was starting to pull away a little. That night I wasn't talking and they were getting frustrated. I felt like I was getting bombarded and attacked and Cody got too close and I actually punched him."

Hera stared at him with wide eyes. She didn't exactly know how the whole dynamic between clones worked, but she was sure it would have been similar if she had hit Zeb or her father.

Rex shrugged and then held his hands out helplessly before resting them on his legs.

"I broke down after that, Cody held me and the others stayed, but it was a long night. The three of them never left me but it was still an awful night," Rex explained. "And Cody told me how when he broke down it was when General Kenobi raised his voice slightly at General Skywalker over the holo. It wasn't even directed at him, but it was enough charge that Cody said he broke down when the holo was over. Gree did something similar. And Wolffe broke his hand on a punching bag he was at for hours and yelled at a lot of his brothers…what I'm saying, Hera, is that when it comes to things like this, you do a lot more damage holding it all in because you think you have to for others. You need to talk to someone about this, whether it is with me or Kanan or Sato or someone else. It'll come out sometime and you'll want to channel it now and help yourself through it instead of it building up and coming out violently."

The Twi'lek stared at him, every word going through her mind. She gulped and the two of them stayed silent for a moment before she spoke up again.

"I don't know how you did it." Hera told him, "losing all of your brothers that you did."

"It wasn't easy," Rex told her. "In mass rates…it was really hard, but I learned that I got along a lot better not when I just supported my men, but they supported me too, where we helped each other."

Hera nodded, gulping a little. Rex watched her and asked after a couple of minutes, "do you want to talk about it? You don't need to tell me everything, but you can say what you first want to get off your chest."

Staring at him, Hera was silent for a couple of minutes, which felt a lot longer to both of them. Rex and Hera never moved as the silence echoed in their ears. Not even the vents could be heard. The absolute silence was almost unnerving. Rex stared at Hera the entire time, looking for her reactions. She was hunched over, her eyes a little wide and slightly glossy as she was lost in thought. Finally her voice spoke up, the voice shaking in despair.

"I think the worse part of it is the silence," Hera whispered, her hands starting to tremble. She noticed and hooked them together and held them on her lap to try and make them stop. Rex could only stare empathetically at her because he knew how hard it was to try and hide the shaking. "It's so _quiet_ now. I can't stand it! I don't hear Sabine moving and painting in her room, I don't hear Ezra and Zeb arguing or joking around the ship. I don't hear them arguing with Chopper or even them just running around. I don't hear the three of them talking and playing games. It's not just the quiet of Ezra and Sabine's absence either. Zeb isn't talking as much and Kanan barely says anything. Even Chopper is quiet. Everything is so still and quiet and it's…haunting and I _hate it_."

Rex nodded understandingly. Even he noticed his time on the Ghost now that it was incredibly quiet. He gave her a small smile and let her continue when after a couple of moments she opened her mouth again and then pressed her hand over it for a moment before setting it on her lap again.

"And I know that Sato will want us back and working soon. But I feel like we will be replacing them if we do. We can't stay a group of three for runs, but…" Hera went quiet again, running her hand across her mouth again, "I don't know what to do. They were my _family_ , Rex."

He noticed the tears finally come from her eyes. He frowned and leaned over to take her hand. She stared down at their interlocked hands and she squeezed his, glad for the comfort.

"They felt like my brother and sister, in some ways my own kids…" she used her other hand to wipe her eyes. "There is this giant hole in my chest because I know that I'll never see them again. The last time I saw Ezra he was mad and he stalked off. And Sabine was smiling and I didn't even know that was the last time I would see it."

Her voice was shaking more and Rex squeezed her hand back.

"And it hurts that I know we'll have to get more members of our crew. And I don't know if we will be ready yet. I'm not sure if Zeb is ready for a new bunk mate, a total stranger, or if we will get others to go in Sabine's old room. And…I don't know what I'm going to do with it. She has her own paintings on the walls and I don't know if I should keep them there or if I should paint over them for the new person that will be going in. And it makes me feel sick to my stomach because painting over them would make me feel like I'm erasing her from this ship. And then there will be strangers in her room and in her space…I feel like we are replacing them." Hera's voice was shaking as she stared at her hands. Rex stayed silent for now, listening to her so she could get what she needed at this point out.

"I'm so mad at them because I never got to say goodbye. The thought of them dying has come before because this is a rebellion and things happen. I'm not stupid but…the thoughts never truly seemed _real_. Time after time where we should have died and we didn't I just kept into this idiotic notion that they were untouchable, that nothing would truly happen to them. And I thought that I was so blessed…" Hera wiped her eyes again. She was silent and shook her head before giving out a stressed laugh that was a true, but sorrow laugh.

"And I'm not truly mad at them for what they did. Because they did _exactly_ what they fought for, what they believe in." Hera said, "I wouldn't want them to go any other way, but I'm so mad at them for not telling me."

Rex nodded and sighed.

"Hera, what would you have done if they told you?" Rex asked, "stop them?"

The distressed Twi'lek immediately shook her head.

"No, I would have gone with them." Hera answered, "we all would."

The clone frowned.

"Then you wouldn't be alive." Rex said, "or Kanan, or Zeb, or Chopper. You'd all be gone. It was there time, Hera. You're meant to live to keep going on for a reason."

"And they aren't?" Hera asked.

"I don't know why, Hera. But I believe things happen for a reason." Rex answered, "I know what you feel, that part of your family is gone and you're still there. You don't understand why they died and you didn't. I don't want you to have some sort of survivour's guilt, Hera. You're meant to go on because you will do something great, something your life was meant for. Everything that led up to Scarif was something that led up to it, you finding Ezra and Sabine, you going on behalf of Phoenix Squadron while we dealt with what was going on Naboo…It all led to something, Hera. And this will be a part of the piece of the puzzle too. It's chaotic and it hurts you and you will not understand it, but there are steps to things like this, things that tie together from one to the next. For a long time I thought about why I survived, why I took out my chip, why my brother had to die to tell me. And it got worse when I did nothing but live in hiding. And then you all came along and I realized they were all pieces. I survived, I took out my chip, everything happened for me to come back here and help the rebellion when I was mentally ready to."

Hera stared at him, not really knowing what to say to that. She was silent and finally just commented, "I just miss them. The Ghost isn't the same without them."

"I believe you," Rex told her, "they are people to be missed. They are a part of you. Losing someone like that is never easy."

Hera nodded and moved to look at the time on her wrist. She sighed and told him, "I should be getting back, see how they are doing…do you have any suggestions about what I should do?"

Rex shrugged and leaned back in his chair. He told her gently, "you know what is best for your crew. I've seen a lot of groups do different things in the Clone Wars. Sometimes it's moments of peace together, sometimes it's crying together, sometimes it's gathering around and sharing memories. Sometimes there are mixes. Whatever works for your crew. It's not something I can tell you to do."

She nodded. That was fair. Maybe there was something she could do.

"Just make sure to take care of yourself too, Hera," Rex told her.

She nodded again, looking up at him.

"And if Sato does ask you to do something then I'll go with you and be your extra hand," Rex promised her. "That way you'll have another hand around and Sato won't start giving you new members so quickly."

Staring up at him, Hera felt her eyes get little glossy and she blinked anything that could make tears away.

"Rex, you don't have to," Hera told him. She didn't want him to feel obligated because she was crying in his bunk and because he felt sorry for her.

But Rex just shook his head.

"I want to. I like working with you all." Rex told her, "and if it gives you time to sort all that out, I'm happy to do it."

Hera looked up at him. She sniffed and rubbed the back of her hand over it before she sighed, "thanks, Rex."

"Don't mention it, General." Rex told her.

She gave him a small smile before she sighed and looked at the time.

"I better get back. I won't keep you occupied any longer." Hera told him.

Rex nodded and Hera stood up from the bed. She gave Rex one last look as she stared down at him and she told him, "thank you, Rex."

"You're welcome, General," Rex answered.

Hera gave him a last nod before letting herself out. She walked out, leaving him for his time alone before walking down the hallways to go back to the Ghost. She could try talking to Zeb and Kanan and see if she could make any progress with that.

Once upon the Ghost again, Hera decided to try Zeb first and work herself up to talking with Kanan.

Hera knocked at the door. She stood in silence for a moment before she asked, "Zeb? Can I come in?"

There was some silence before the hiss of the door opening. She stared up at the large Lasat that had a curious expression on his face. She hoped hers look braver than she felt.

"Uh, something I can help you with?" Zeb asked her.

Hera started to speak, but her voice gave out so she cleared her throat to make it sound stronger.

"I was, uh, wondering if you wanted to talk or anything." Hera answered, "…can I come in?"

Though he was surprised, Zeb moved a bit out of the way for her, "yeah, sure…"

Hera nodded and gave him a small smile before she stepped forward, moving into the room. In some way, as she looked around, the room felt more hallow. It felt bigger, yet smaller. It was the most odd feeling as she took it all in. It seemed empty and darker. Hera stared at the pile of Ezra's clothes and other items he left around the room. They seemed foreign to her and she didn't like that. Those were Ezra's things and she didn't like how there wasn't an attachment to them anymore. Nothing about the room seemed the same. How could Zeb stand to stay in here? And not just to sleep in his own bunk, but to coop himself in here?

Zeb saw her staring at the pile and he cleared his throat, walking until he was beside her. Hera forced her eyes away to look at him.

"I, uh, thought that we could maybe donate them. You know, to a charity for kids and families who can't afford clothes," Zeb told her, expressing his thoughts.

Hera nodded, turning back to the clothes. It was a good idea. What would they do with them? It wouldn't be healthy to keep them around, or useful. It would take up space. And with Zeb's suggestion, they would do a lot more good for someone else than sitting, collecting dust on the ship. It was a good idea…a really good idea. Ezra lived on the streets for years. Finding clothes as he grew would have been hard. Giving Ezra's clothes to someone who needed them, someone like who Ezra used to be, almost seemed profound. He'd be helping people who needed it even after he was gone.

"I like that," Hera agreed. "Ezra would like that. That's what he'd want."

Zeb nodded a small smile on his face.

"Yeah, I thought…kinda full circle, you know? He told me that places like that were where he got them in the first place. It was the only place where he could get new clothes. I thought that he'd want them to go to someone who needed them too." Zeb explained, "I thought that maybe we could drop off Sabine's things too, maybe."

Hera nodded, smiling slightly at the idea. She didn't want to part with them, as foreign as the objects were, but the clothing would be going to people who needed it and she knew that both Ezra and Sabine would like that.

"She would like that too," Hera agreed. "I can get a box started tomorrow."

Zeb nodded and the two then fell silent again. The two stared at the pile of clothes in silence. It echoed off the walls, but neither knew what to say next. Hera didn't know where to start and Zeb didn't know what to say to her.

Finally, Hera took in a deep breath before closing her eyes.

"Look…Zeb if you want to talk…" she started, but he cut her off.

"Hera, I'm not ready for that right now." Zeb admitted.

Hera shut her mouth immediately. She winced slightly at the words, not because of the tone, but because of what the words meant. He didn't want to talk about it. He didn't want to open up anymore than he already had. He didn't want to share his feelings. He wanted his silence and his space.

It made everything seem like it was more broken than it already was. Like she was seeing more cracks. She allowed Zeb his feelings, but she hated how they couldn't talk anymore. Her crew was always so open with each other and it was gone.

Hera nodded and answered weakly, "okay."

She opens her eyes and sighs. She doesn't look back at him before leaving, not wanting him to see her face and she didn't want to see the sorrow in his. She couldn't take that just yet. Hera gently walked out of the room, avoiding the artwork on the side of the wall. She shut the door behind her so that Zeb could have his privacy again.

When she was gone, Zeb sighed and moved slowly to sit on the ground against the wall. He looked across at the wall in front of him. His ears and shoulders sank slightly at the sight he had been staring at for hours ever since they came back form Yavin 4 as he stared at the artwork that showed one of the last pictures of his one friend that was gone made that his other friend that was also gone had made. In the single painting, he felt the loss of two of his closest friends. He could still hear their laughter echoing in his ears. He could see them and how they looked five years ago. Sabine's orange and blue hair, how short and skinny Ezra was, how his hair was longer and had a more bluish colour that slowly turned darker over the years. It didn't seem that long ago.

Hera moved slowly down the hallway to Kanan's room. It was silent, as it had been ever since the incident. It seemed as though he never moved in it, like he didn't even breathe.

She knocked at the door, hoping he would let her inside.

"Kanan?" she asked, her voice low and comforting. She didn't hear anything on the other side. So she tried again, knocking a couple of times. "Kanan, please talk to me."

She was met with utter silence again. It even seemed to drown out the radio she had left on this morning. She stood there for about a minute before she forced herself away. If Kanan wasn't ready to talk either than she wouldn't force him.

She went walking down the hall again, as though on auto-pilot. She found herself walking down the hallways, past their rooms and the bridge to going down the ladder. She found herself walking to the Phantom. Perhaps, she realized, she was going there because she found that it was getting harder not to cry, that her eyesight was getting blurry. It was a place where she could go inside and cry where Zeb and Kanan wouldn't hear her. It would be an enclosed space of comfort until she found she could go back to them.

However, something stopped her.

Something completely stunned her and she froze, her breath stopping as well.

 _Ezra's laughter._

But…

No she was sure.

Hera blinked a couple of times to dry her eyes before she moved towards the sound. She was moving fast, her feet taking her down the hallway to the storage room as she followed the sound of his laughter. She almost glided down the hallway.

 _"You know, I'm sure you would catch a lot less attention if you didn't wear clothing that makes you look like a giant 'warning' and 'caution' sign."_

Sabine?

Hera held her breath, her form shaking as she stood at the doorway. No, they were dead.

She opened the door, somewhat mad about hearing their voices before she stopped dead in her tracks. Chopper was in the middle of the storage room, projecting bluish images and videos of Sabine and Ezra by themselves or with some of the other crew. The projections were a little fuzzy, but they were there and almost clear as day Hera could see them.

Her heart caught in her throat watching the images, and then watching Chopper watch the images and videos. So this was where he went.

The droid didn't move as Hera walked up to him. She stared at the current video. It was of Sabine and Ezra talking in the hallways of the Ghost. The Twi'lek slowly sat beside the droid, watching the video as well.

 _"Says the person who has multiple colours on her armour and sticks out like a sore thumb." Ezra countered back, though both were smiling._

 _"Maybe, but nothing on me is a bright neon colour! At least I blend in in the dark. You might as well be glowing."_

 _"Handsome things shine bright."_

 _Sabine let out a large 'pfft' sound and rolled her eyes._

Hera watched the video play back from the beginning where it was in the middle of their banter when Chopper must've come in. Hera found herself smiling slightly. That must've been the second year Ezra was with them…no the third. His hair was cut short. Hera didn't remember this, or hear them, so she must've been working on something or was off the ship for some reason. The familiar banter was comforting though, familiar like she had been there originally for it.

"You miss them too, hmm?" Hera asked Chopper gently.

The droid made some warbled beeps. Hera smiled slightly, moving to lean against him a little.

"Droids don't have feelings, hmm?" Hera chuckled lightly as she watched the video move to another scene, where Sabine was painting a starboard on some Imperial crate. She moved with ease and her movements seemed like she was flowing with precise perfection. It was something she had done so many times before, but just watching her making it as she did…Chopper must've wanted it so he could remember that. She didn't know he had recorded all these things. Despite being anti-social…or very unfriendly to say the least, he did have an attachment to them. She began to wonder how much he recorded of them and what he had of her.

The video changed again to everyone in the bridge. Hera saw herself sitting in her spot on the ship, Ezra in the co-pilot's seat with Sabine on the other side of them. Ezra asked a question and Sabine had smacked him hard over the head.

 _"Hera said it was a secret!"_

The Twi'lek had to giggle. She had completely forgotten about that. Watching them like this reminded her how much those two were like siblings. It made something clench inside of her.

"I miss them too," she told Chopper.

The droid didn't answer, not wanting to admit or agree to anything. Hera sighed and then watched the image change again to a video of the hallway. Sabine's room was open and Hera could kind of see her move in it, but she was more interested in the yelling that was happening behind Zeb and Ezra's closed door.

 _"Well this isn't someplace, it's my place!" Zeb grumbled, "so get out."_

Ezra said something in a lower volume. There was a couple seconds of silence before the sound of something breaking and dropping. Not three seconds later, there was a scuffle and Ezra hurried out of the room with Zeb coming after him, Ezra turning to face him.

 _"It's not my fault!" Ezra tried._

 _"Tell it to my fist!" Zeb almost yelled, frustrated._

Hera realized this was when Chopper sabotaged Ezra's bed to land on Zeb. The droid must've been laying in wait in the hallway to see if his plan would work so he could record the results. Hera felt her stomach churn as she stared at them. Ezra looked so young in this. He was still small and skinny, years before a good growth spurt even tried to start because of his life on the streets, his hair long. He was so young.

When Ezra tried to run away with Zeb going after him, Hera saw Sabine peek out of her room to see what the commotion was about. Chopper turned more towards her and Hera saw him take out his grips and show the bolts proudly grasped in them.

Sabine folded her arms and her eyebrows raised.

She looked so young too. She still had puffier, baby-faced cheeks. Her head was more circular with teenage youth before it became a bit thinner with age.

 _"The bolts from Ezra's bunk." she concluded, stepping forward towards their room._

Chopper followed her as she stepped into Zeb and Ezra's bedroom, staring around at the space as though inspecting it before saying, _"Hmm, it needs a little something."_

Hera saw her turn to look at Chopper. There was a wide smile on Sabine's face. Hera couldn't hold it in anymore. Her stomach clenched and she shook slightly as a quiet sob began to escape her. She put her face in her hands and felt Chopper moving a hook up and down her arm to comfort her as the images of Sabine and Ezra moved through the darkness behind her eyes. She remembered their laughs. She remembered their smiles. She remembered them as young kids, short with chubbier faces and brighter, bigger eyes. She remembered Sabine leaving them at the table on Yavin with the same smile she always had. Hera could see her face now with the face she had when she first met Sabine. She could picture Ezra walking away in the short, youthful stature he had when she first met him. She remembered them as kids, kids who had to grow up too fast and kids who lost it all but fought when they shouldn't have but wanted to. She remembered their smiles, how their eyes lit up with a genuine smile, how their laughter seemed to make everything better and she _sobbed_. She wouldn't see that again. They were gone and nothing was the same. The ship was smaller and darker. Everything was quiet. Zeb wasn't the same. Kanan wasn't the same. They couldn't talk anymore. They were broken. Everything was _broken._


End file.
